He he he hello!!!
Here I am again.
I apologized for many times that I didn't wrote much during my living in Japan. But who cares?
But I know there is loyal reader(s) waiting for my update :)
This year will be my last year living in Japan as doctoral student. I kinda sad about that. We (me and my husband) tried as best as we can to live longer here, but seems the universe is not support us. There are many barriers that we can not break in this limited time. So, we decide to go back to Indonesia after I finish study here. I don't know for how long we will live there, and how we will make a living. But I am sure, we will take another journey to somewhere in the Earth in very near future.
So, now many people asked me one of the most sacred question to doctoral student,
"how is your research going?"
Yeah, it keep going... never stop a bit, even in my dreams it still haunting me. Sounds scary, isn't it?
But that's truth.
I was in a little depression lately. Some friends noticed that my face looks unhappy.
I start feel disappointed to myself, feeling foolish and stupid.
I want to achieve many thing but keep failing.
Then I realize that I just become greedy and impatient.
I can still living in my dreams but really, even dreams takes time to coming true.
I stubbornly resist to reset my dreams, I still dreaming high. But I must understand, the higher I dream the more painful it will feel when I fall down.
But I should know how to go up again after fall down, so I could put myself higher than before.
I thank my husband a lot for let me cry worse than a baby during the hard time.
Now I am raise again from the fall, try to wipe the pain of the failed goals.
And focus to research, raising my kid, and loving my husband.
Then, gradually the research is now find a way out of its dead end alley.
Wish me luck, I will do my best, give my 100% heart and mind into it.
夢のために、将来のために、生活のために
For dreams, for the future, for life
