Greedy Me

"Today Kiyono sensei sent us Veronique's report to study," my friend Nao said. I looked at his iphone, and amazed with how my friend did for her assignment, so orderly good, professional, but still have personal touch in it. Then I remember my own worked, what I've been done with my assignment was too far from it. Such kind of feelings appears, I got jealous. Still finding many excuses to face the fact that I couldn't make even nearly like that. 

Then I realized one thing, deep inside me, I always want to be the best.

Sometimes, I feel hopelessly like I'm really nothing. Even if I try so hard to do something, I'm still like nothing. Then after many times trying, sometimes fail, at least I can be better. Feels so happy in this stage. But at the same time, my heart demanding for more, become the most... The best.

I feel so greedy. I should be thanked that I already blessed with this all. But still can't deal with this uneasy feeling. I think I should place myself again in the phase that I'm nothing, so I have nothing to lose, and keep on struggling to be better. 

I hate the fact that I'm so greedy. That I want to have many things more and more... 

But I think being greedy for good thing is not bad, unless I do everything (in a bad way) to achive it. I ever learnt that it is good to compete for good thing, "Fastabiqul khairat".

Yeah, being greedy is not that bad, but in this time, enjoy the moment is better, not forcing myself too much. I will do my best, and hope it will also be the best.

"With this delicate body, I will always fight for the best..."

Ganbatte!